I’m not a blogger…

I’m not a blogger. Although I have tried so hard to be one. I have tried to consistently come up with reasons why readers should visit my blog – reasons that fit into neat little lists that make supposedly attention-grabbing headline. But nah. I haven’t been able to do it. I can’t seem to find the consistency for it. I haven’t been able to find the rhythm to my writing in the past year. I write out of passion or at least interest or humor. It feels impossible to blog when I feel like I have to. And when you’re a blogger (that writes posts), you have to.

I’m not a blogger. I don’t have good fashion pics, and I don’t have artistically photographed images of my perfectly decorated desks with accessories from Ross and Home Goods and Kate Spade and whatnot. (Not to say that I wouldn’t want one of those cute little workspaces with the fun/funky deco.) But my not having one and what would happen in mine speaks to the type of mind I have. I’m a bit chaotic. I’m complex. I’m multitudinous. I start one thought and leave off at another one. One train of thought collides with a million others in my mind. I write things down to remember them, but I don’t even do that in an organized manner.

I’m not a blogger. Although I do want to share my natural hair experience, I don’t want to do a millionth review on the same natural hair product that nearly everyone has already tried. I don’t want to try to convince readers of the same thing that thousands of other bloggers are trying to convince readers of. (No shade, because there is still room out there for natural hair bloggers to get out their and reteach the same things that have been becoming more common over the past decade or so. There are lots of newbies cropping up with lots of questions all the time. For me, it just feels stale.) Everything that I’ve tried on my blog kind of falls through, and I hate that. I’m not a blogger. I’m a creative, and I live in my head a lot. I’m a visionary, but I want to share my vision, hence the blog.

I’m not a blogger, but I’m figuring things out. I’m becoming myself, my true self, more and more, and I LOVE IT. I’m not neat, but I have a pattern. It’s just that I’m learning it. I value experience. I’ll take impartation over information.

So come and vibe with me.

P.S. I wonder if this thing will even get posted because my strong suit is starting things…not finishing.

If Inspiration Is Everywhere, Then Why I Am Searching for It…

I started feeling extremely restless on Wednesday. It was a pronounced sense of idleness that weighed upon me heavily, winding my mind up like a toy while crippling my immediate productivity. All I could think of were the many ideas, desires, and plans I’ve had and do have and how those things are frozen outside of time. I’m not producing, and I haven’t created…as much as I would like to. This thought streaked through me and electrified me, almost dead. And so the cravings hit like that. I needed inspiration.

Is my identity as a creative person locked into my having created something of value to others? Or is it just a recognition within myself? And the confidence to be that without set expectations?

I was frustrated, sitting on my couch watching Netflix with Facebook and Instagram just a swipe away. (Social media drains my creativity, but I’m such a procrastinatorrrrrr. Smh.) So I decided to find the inspiration my soul – my psyche – was craving.

Honestly, it sounds and feels cliche to say that I’m going to an art gallery for creative inspiration, but I didn’t know where else to turn. I needed to be outside of my everyday environment. I needed to see different, hear different, feel different. Sensory reset.

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…So I found my way to the McColl Center for Art + Innovation.

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The artwork focused my racing thoughts. The bright colors were hypnotizing. The artists in residence were friendly and inspiring. And here I return to that cliche word Inspiration. I heard a quote from a video from an exhibit,

“Inspiration is everywhere.”

I pondered this idea because I came there for inspiration. If inspiration is everywhere, then why did I have to come to an art gallery to be inspired, I wondered. It occurred to me that it is good to be in a place where creativity is the norm. I don’t live like that everyday, and I need reminders. When you have an artist’s heart and an analytical mind, creative inspiration gets lost. So I went looking for it.

Some days, I breathe creativity from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed. On other days, I have to remind myself of who I am and what I have.

…Ultimately, I am inspiration.

The Royal Coil