I’m sure I’m not the only one who was thoroughly transformed by returning to natural. There were a lot of things that I had no idea that I was learning. Much of the time, I was focused on doing/fixing my hair, but my transition and the journey that ensued has taught me so much about life. So this is the introduction of a series of posts about my transition and what I’ve learned.
I began my journey during my freshman year of college. This is about what I looked like when I got my last relaxer.
One thing I’ve learned is that I love exactly who I am, what flows and grows out of me naturally. I love it. I’m comfortable with it. I know it. The natural life is the only option there ever was.
So reminisce with me as I wax poetic about discovering the real me through my hair.
Okay, I get it. There are probably a lot of people who will say the definition of a protective style precludes an “out” style like an afro. However, a lot of these things are kind of fluid in the natural hair community, and that is because what protects my hair or promotes length retention for me may cause breakage for you.
The reason that my TWA is a great protective style is because
It requires little manipulation for me.
I do have to pick it. When I’m getting myself ready for the day, I wet my hair (and moisturize depending on the day) and pick mainly the sides and back. I don’t pick the top much because I’m growing out a tapered cut, and the top is at least twice as long as the rest. So I when I pick the back and sides, it ends up looking like a reasonably shaped TWA.
I know! Picking sounds like pretty serious manipulation. I don’t pull my pick through my ends too much because I really want my hair semi-stretched away from my scalp. I try to pick more at the roots and pull with my hands.
It keeps my hands out of my hair!
I am very much like a child in that when I have my hair styled, I touch it. I want to feel the texture of it. And I’m really bad about it. When I have it in the more familiar TWA, I’m not tempted (as much).
My ends aren’t really that exposed…I’m hypothesizing.
No, my ends are not tucked away per se. However, due to my curl pattern and hair type (4c, I’m pretty sure), my hair coils in on itself. So I don’t think my ends stick out a lot. (I could be wrong.) It doesn’t hurt that my hair is heat damaged on the ends (SMH – that’s what you see sticking out. I just had my hair trimmed 7 weeks…whoa, almost time for another.), and I plan on chopping that in a few months.
Finally, I’ve done this before. This is my 2nd big chop, and my hair retained length pretty nicely when it was out and left alone. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
I will admit that I think this works much better as a “protective” style in the warmer months. Moisture retention is simpler for me in the summer. Cold, dry, and exposed hair needs a helping protective style hand.
So I’m finding that a little goes a long way as it pertains to changing my look with my tapered fro. I don’t have that much hair to work with, but it seems to have grown quite fast. Style 1 was the Side Part. Not a big deal, but it made a distinctive difference.
Style 2 is the semi-stretched Side Part. Last night, I realized that I have enough hair on the back and sides to flat twist. In my excitement, I stretched my hair on the back and sides using flat twists and on the top with large two strands that didn’t dry completely. The result was a semi-stretched TWA with my fave – the Side Part.
Style 2 shown on the left.
The two styles seem quite similar, but stretching the shorter parts of my hair while allowing the top to shrink some gave my TWA a rounder shape plus it was more noticeably textured. In my opinion, it has a sufficiently different vibe, and I loved it! It was a nice softer look for church today.
Gotta keep creating and innovating. That’s for hair and for life.
This post is kind of about my hair, but not completely. I’ll start with the hair though.
I am in an awkward phase. (My autocorrect wanted to put “awesome” instead of “awkward.” Honestly, it could be that too. It’s all about perspective.) Anyway, I had my hair cut down on the sides and back last fall. I loved it. It was boy hair short, like the cut life short, like all you need is a brush, if that, short. It was so fresh and fine. It was a wonderful phase while it lasted, and at the time, it was exactly what I needed to see my own beauty in a different form, to learn to accept and adore another side of myself, and to embrace a more mature look, in my opinion. I had it cut down a second time after letting it grow back in. That was in December, and I have since committed to allowing it to grow back because I miss my afro. So now I have about half an inch of unstretched shrinkage around the sides and back and about 2 inches of unstretched shrinkage on the top with more length in the front and less length in the back. Are you visualizing the awkwardness? I mean awesomeness.
Because this looks sufficiently awkward.
Honestly, though, I believe that, in order to get the best out of my hair, I have to be as positive and creative as possible during this phase. As I’ve learned about natural hair before, controlled chaos is beautiful in itself. So I’m challenging myself to create 6 styles on my hair in the next month. Now that was kind of about my hair, but I’ve found that having natural hair and what I’ve learned about it parallels so many things in life. Like, my hair and my life are twins kinda!
I’ve been in an awkward phase in my life lately too. I was in between jobs for 9 months last year. I’m working 3 jobs right now. I’m still trying to get comfortable in my new phase of singleness. I have dreams and ambitions out the wazoo and am still in a character development phase. I don’t sleep enough, and I’m pretty sure I’m more busy than I am happy. Awkward enough, right?
It wasn’t until last year that I realized what I really want to do. And that’s awkward because having 2 degrees and not being able to articulate what you want to do with them makes for awkward silences and awkward looks. Awkward pep talks and awkward scoldings from your elders who only want the best for you. Even awkwardly trying to fit your squareness into a round job all for the sake of gainful employment. (Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes, you do have to take a job because you nees to pay the bills and be able to have fun.)
What I have learned from being natural is to embrace the awkwardness. Revel in it and let the creativity flow. Don’t force it. Work hard. Don’t make or allow for excuses for your ends not meeting. But work with what you have and if you don’t know what you have, start to explore it. You appreciated your last really great season, just as I thoroughly appreciated my haircut. However, if you’re going to get to the next level, you must focus forward and not lament what you’ve got going on now. This goes for your hair and your life. Keep building. Keep growing.
Awkwardness ➡Creativity ➡Awesomeness. Thank you, Autocorrect, for the lesson in hair and life.
The Royal Coil - An Afro & lifeStyle Blog 